Jak's Winning
by marneus90
Summary: HBC interview Jak Mar, supposed instigator of Baron Praxis' downfall and also suspected of dropping the Shield Wall about his spate of Dark Eco usage.  One shot parody of the Charlie Sheen situation.


_This interview was conducted after Jak Mar, viewed by some as a saviour of Haven city and by others as the one who doomed it to the state it's in now, came before the Haven City Council to be judged for his actions._

Haven TV Reporter: Mister Mar, your anger is coming off as erratic

Jak Mar: My Eco, it's Eco, it's all Eco.

Reporter: Well whatever it is it's coming off as erratic.

Jak: Right well you have your body pumped with Dark Eco for five seconds. You'll be like "Dude, can't handle it, get this out of me," because it operates works on a level that may not be within our realm of understanding.

Reporter: I think some of the things you're talking about are making people think there's something wrong with you.

Jak: Well I suppose that's up to them to interpret that as they will.

Reporter: Are you bipolar?

Jak: What does that even mean?

Reporter: It means that your mood can go between two ends of the spectrum.

Jak: Right and how do they plan to fix that? That's not my fault, the way that I am, that's the Baron. I'm Bi-Channeling. I channel here and I channel there. Doesn't bipolar mean that these people crash and are like "It's all my dad's fault, he abused me into being the douche bag I am today," shut up. Shut. Up.

Reporter: Have you had anyone reach out to you?

Jak: Oh yeah, didn't you catch the way Ashelin Praxis looked at me? And The Shadow. Amazing people, but they're always telling me what to do. Go here. Blow up this. Shoot that. Save my ass again.

Reporter: Who gave you the best advice?

Jak: They didn't. They just told me to get on with my job, there's just hate for the Baron. That's it.

Reporter: When was the last time you unleashed?

Jak: Unleashed? I unleashed last night, Ashelin can tell you about that. I unleashed my Crocodog when I took it for a walk. I never leash my Ottsel. I guess you're talking about my Dark side.

Reporter: Yes, when did you last unleash your Dark side?

Jak: It's such a stupid word. "Unleashed." Like I can control it. I don't remember, I honestly do not remember.

Reporter: A week, two weeks?

Jak: I don't know. Just before the bald guy with the cane came in and told me to get out of his city.

Reporter: Can you tell me about the last time you transformed?

Jak: The last time I transformed I did so for, probably, longer than anyone could survive.

Reporter: How long?

Jak: I don't know, I was channelling the Dark Eco and running out, that's how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: kill.

Reporter: How **do **you survive that?

Jak: Because I'm me. Because I'm different, I come from a different time, I come from a different place, I'm me. I've got Metal Head Blood, man.

Reporter: You don't worry that you're going to die when you go Dark for that long?

Jak: Dying is for people who don't respawn.

Reporter: But you're only human.

Jak: No, there are certain combinations of Eco that don't work and I've seen that and I'm too smart to do the same and I'm sorry for the guys that tried it.

Reporter: So you have a strategy for Eco usage?

Jak: I dunno if I'd call it a strategy, just a couple of rules.

Reporter: So you've got no Eco right now, you're clean?

Jak: Yeah, I'm fine.

Reporter: So this is better? Life with your family; your girlfriend and your, for want of a better word, father?

Jak: It's not better, it's perfect. Y'know, it doesn't compare, they're different realities, both have good things about them. But what I'm doing now is absolute… focus. It's exciting. It's… like I'm being called from a higher plane of existence.

Reporter: Are you afraid you're going to relapse into Darkness.

Jak: No.

Reporter: Why?

Jak: Because. I'm not going to. The end.

Reporter: But how do you know?

Jak: Because I blinked and it happened. Everybody has the power to beat their problems.

Reporter: Do you regret any of it?

Jak. No. Not at all. What I've done is give people that view of what it's like to be the monster and sure I might not remember showing them but they'll remember it and hopefully it'll change their lives.

Reporter: One person said they thought they were going to start absorbing Dark Eco.

Jak: That's… nothing to do with me. If they do then it's their problem and I'm sorry but they have the power, it's their choice.

Reporter: You say you like the feeling of using Eco.

Jak: Not anymore, it bored the hell out of me. After a while I was like "Ok, done, let's try something else."

Reporter: How can anyone believe that you will stay Eco-free?

Jak: I'm not interested. Not interested in what other people believe I'm interested in what I believe and I believe that I will.

Reporter: Thank you for your time.

Jak: No problem.


End file.
